a woman’s guide to claiming space

Claiming Space⁚ A Woman’s Guide to Empowerment

Eliza VanCort, a teacher, consultant, and speaker, provides the necessary tools for women to rewrite the rules and create the stories of their choosing safely and without apology. Her book, “A Woman’s Guide to Claiming Space⁚ Stand Tall, Raise Your Voice, Be Heard,” offers practical advice on how you can improve every aspect of your life by taking ownership of your space, whether that is in your personal relationships, professional settings, or public spaces.

Understanding the Concept of Claiming Space

Claiming space is not just about physically occupying a certain area. It’s about taking up your rightful place in the world, both literally and figuratively. It’s about asserting your presence, your voice, and your power. It’s about refusing to be invisible, to be silenced, or to be marginalized. Claiming space is about acknowledging your worth and demanding your rightful place in a world often designed to diminish and silence women.

It’s about recognizing the power dynamics that have historically relegated women to the sidelines and actively challenging those dynamics. It’s about reclaiming your agency and refusing to shrink yourself to fit into the mold that society has carved out for you. Claiming space is about embracing your full self, your strength, your intelligence, and your unique voice, and refusing to apologize for it.

It’s about breaking free from the societal expectations that have conditioned women to be passive, agreeable, and self-effacing. It’s about embracing your power and using your voice to create change, to stand up for yourself and for others, and to build a world that is more equitable and just for all.

The Pressure to Make Oneself Small

From a young age, women are bombarded with messages that tell them to make themselves smaller. We are told to be polite, to be agreeable, to be quiet, and to avoid taking up too much space. We are taught to downplay our accomplishments, to apologize for our opinions, and to shrink our ambitions to fit into societal expectations. These messages are insidious and pervasive, internalized through countless interactions, from childhood games to professional settings.

They are woven into the fabric of our culture, subtly dictating how we should behave, how we should dress, how we should speak. These messages are internalized deeply, leading to a pervasive sense of self-doubt, a fear of speaking up, and a reluctance to assert our needs and desires. This pressure to make ourselves small can manifest in various ways, from a reluctance to negotiate for a higher salary to a fear of expressing our anger or sadness.

It can lead to feelings of inadequacy, a lack of confidence, and a sense of being invisible. This internalized pressure to shrink ourselves can have a profound impact on our personal and professional lives, limiting our potential and holding us back from achieving our full potential.

The Five Key Behaviors of Space-Claiming Queens

Eliza VanCort outlines five key behaviors that define the “Space-Claiming Queens” who embody the spirit of claiming space⁚

1. Use your voice and posture to project confidence and power. This means speaking up for yourself, expressing your opinions, and standing tall. It’s about taking up physical space and making your presence known.
2. End self-sabotage. This means recognizing and challenging the negative thoughts and beliefs that hold you back. It’s about believing in yourself and your abilities, and not letting fear or self-doubt dictate your actions.
3. Forge connections. This means building strong relationships with other women and supporting each other. It’s about creating a network of allies who can lift you up and help you navigate the challenges of claiming space.
4. Neutralize unsafe spaces. This means recognizing and confronting situations that make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. It’s about setting boundaries, speaking out against injustice, and creating environments where everyone feels safe and respected.
5. Unite across differences. This means recognizing that women come from all walks of life and have different experiences. It’s about building bridges, fostering understanding, and working together to create a more equitable world for all women.

These five key behaviors are not just about individual empowerment; they are about collective action. By embracing these behaviors, women can create a ripple effect, inspiring others to claim their own space and build a more just and equitable world.

Claiming Space in Professional Settings

In the professional realm, claiming space takes on a different dimension. It’s not just about asserting yourself in meetings or speaking up in conferences, but about navigating a system often designed to disadvantage women. VanCort encourages women to⁚

• Negotiate your worth. Women often undervalue their skills and contributions, leading to underpayment and limited career advancement. VanCort emphasizes the importance of knowing your worth and confidently negotiating for fair compensation and opportunities.
• Embrace your leadership style. Women are often stereotyped as being less assertive or decisive than men. VanCort challenges this stereotype by highlighting the unique strengths and leadership styles that women bring to the table.
• Build a support network; Women need to build strong connections with other women in their field. These networks can provide mentorship, guidance, and a sense of community.
• Challenge gender bias. Gender bias is a pervasive issue in the workplace. VanCort encourages women to be aware of gender bias and challenge it whenever they encounter it.

Claiming space in professional settings is about demanding a seat at the table and ensuring your voice is heard. It’s about breaking down barriers and creating a workplace where women are valued and empowered to reach their full potential.

Claiming Space in Personal Relationships

Personal relationships, from romantic partnerships to familial connections, are often where women’s boundaries are tested. “A Woman’s Guide to Claiming Space” provides practical guidance for setting healthy boundaries and establishing a sense of balance within these relationships. VanCort encourages women to⁚

• Communicate your needs and expectations. Honesty is key to building healthy and fulfilling relationships. Women often feel pressured to suppress their needs or desires. VanCort advocates for open communication and clear articulation of boundaries, preferences, and expectations.
• Embrace solitude and self-care. Women are often expected to be caregivers and put the needs of others before their own. VanCort emphasizes the importance of prioritizing self-care and embracing solitude to maintain a sense of balance and well-being.
• Stand up for yourself. Women are often taught to be agreeable and avoid conflict. VanCort encourages women to challenge this societal expectation and assert their needs and opinions, even if it means standing up for themselves in difficult conversations.
• Choose healthy relationships. Not all relationships are beneficial. VanCort encourages women to be mindful of the relationships they choose and to distance themselves from those that are toxic or harmful.

Claiming space in personal relationships is about prioritizing your own well-being and establishing a sense of balance within your connections with others.

Claiming Space in Public Spaces

Public spaces are often designed with men in mind, leaving women feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable. “A Woman’s Guide to Claiming Space” provides practical advice for navigating these spaces with confidence and assertiveness. VanCort encourages women to⁚

• Be aware of your surroundings. Staying vigilant is crucial for women’s safety in public spaces. VanCort advises women to pay attention to their surroundings, trust their instincts, and avoid potentially dangerous situations.
• Use your voice and body language. Projecting confidence and assertiveness can deter potential aggressors. VanCort encourages women to use their voice to assert their boundaries and to maintain an upright posture and confident demeanor.
• Seek out safe spaces. Public spaces often lack safe and accessible options for women. VanCort encourages women to familiarize themselves with safe havens, such as well-lit areas, public transportation hubs, or businesses with security personnel.
• Support each other. Building a network of support can empower women in public spaces. VanCort emphasizes the importance of supporting other women, speaking out against harassment, and creating a culture of safety and respect.

Claiming space in public spaces is not just about personal safety, but also about feeling comfortable and empowered in spaces designed for everyone.

The Importance of Self-Awareness and Respect

Eliza VanCort emphasizes that claiming space effectively requires a deep understanding of oneself and a commitment to respect. She encourages women to cultivate self-awareness, which involves understanding their own strengths, weaknesses, and triggers. This awareness allows women to identify situations that may trigger anxiety or discomfort and to develop strategies for navigating them confidently.

Furthermore, VanCort highlights the importance of respecting oneself and others. This means recognizing one’s own worth and value, setting clear boundaries, and communicating them assertively. Respecting others means acknowledging their perspectives, listening attentively, and engaging in constructive dialogue. By practicing self-awareness and respect, women can build a foundation for claiming space with confidence and integrity.

VanCort’s guidance encourages women to be mindful of their own needs and to advocate for themselves while also recognizing the perspectives and experiences of others. This approach fosters a sense of empowerment and promotes a more equitable and respectful society.

Claiming Space in a World Designed for Men

Eliza VanCort acknowledges the systemic challenges that women face in a world often designed for men. She highlights the societal pressures that encourage women to conform to traditional gender roles, often leading to a sense of invisibility or diminished value. VanCort emphasizes that these pressures are not simply individual choices but are deeply ingrained in societal structures and expectations.

Her book encourages women to challenge these limiting narratives and to actively reclaim their space in all aspects of life. This involves recognizing and dismantling the implicit biases that shape our understanding of gender roles and challenging the assumptions that women should make themselves smaller or less visible; VanCort empowers women to embrace their individuality, to assert their voices, and to contribute their unique talents and perspectives to the world.

By acknowledging the systemic inequalities that women face, VanCort provides a framework for understanding the challenges and a roadmap for navigating them with resilience and determination. She encourages women to forge a path toward a more equitable and inclusive society, where everyone has the opportunity to claim their space and contribute their full potential.

The Benefits of Claiming Space

Eliza VanCort argues that claiming space is not just about asserting oneself but about unlocking a world of possibilities and empowering women to live their lives to the fullest. The benefits extend far beyond personal satisfaction and confidence, contributing to a more just and equitable society for all. By taking ownership of their physical, emotional, and professional spaces, women can break free from limiting expectations and embrace their full potential.

Claiming space fosters greater self-awareness and self-acceptance, leading to increased confidence and resilience. It allows women to develop a stronger sense of self-worth and to navigate challenges with greater clarity and purpose. By advocating for their needs and boundaries, women can create healthier and more fulfilling relationships, both personal and professional.

The benefits of claiming space extend beyond the individual, contributing to a more inclusive and equitable society. By challenging societal norms and advocating for change, women can inspire others to break free from limiting expectations and create a world where everyone feels valued and empowered.

A Call to Action⁚ Stand Tall, Raise Your Voice, Be Heard

Eliza VanCort’s message is a powerful call to action for women everywhere. She urges women to break free from societal expectations and reclaim their power. It is a call to stand tall, to raise their voices, and to be heard. Claiming space is not about aggression or dominance; it is about owning your truth and demanding respect. It is about recognizing your worth and refusing to be silenced.

This call to action is not just for individual women but for society as a whole. It is a call for a world where women are valued, respected, and given the opportunity to reach their full potential. It is a call for a world where women’s voices are heard and their contributions are celebrated.

The journey of claiming space is not always easy. It requires courage, self-belief, and a willingness to challenge the status quo. But the rewards are immense. By claiming your space, you reclaim your power, your voice, and your future. You become a force for change, not only for yourself but for all women.